The latest fad in the new generation is the words Negativity, Depression and Rejection. These were words which I had never heard growing up. 

As a 3 year, I remember being in a very big house, my father was the Director of a hospital and so we had a house that was built over an acreage. One had to walk for a couple of minutes to reach from one end to the other end of the house. I and my sister were the only two sibling and I could not go out of the home due to security reason, so did not have any friends. Being a lonely child, I could not make proper friends even after I started going to School. 

I always felt left out and out of place due to some reason and would always keep aloof. This made me feel that I should have been someone who always felt rejected or should have been depressed and should definitely have had negative thoughts. But alas, I don’t know why but I don’t have any of these feelings and still, have never had the kind of negativity that I see today. Many times, I wonder what made me like this and why was I able to keep my head above the water when so many have drowned in the turmoil of life and circumstances. I definitely did not have a good relationship with my parents, especially with my father. He was rarely around, being a doctor and a committed one, he was always in the hospital. 

I was also not a very healthy kid and had a lot of trouble with my health, I had an operation when I was 2-3 years old as I had some kind of tumor, had nephritis, Mums, Measles, Chicken Pox.  I was also diagnosed with Rheumatic Fever. Due to all these I was very weak and sickly. This also kept me always from the other Kids as I could not play any games or run for too long.  On top of this I was an average student and due to all these could not really get accepted by any groups Kids. 

So, what kept me going?

The answer to this question lies in the deep-rooted mindset that I had developed from my childhood itself. I had the ability to look beyond and not l look at the present, I was always a dreamer and looked at dreams and how to achieve those. I would plan things and try and look at the problems in that dream, analyzing my dream over and over until that dream become a reality in my thoughts and then started working on them. I was never afraid of failing because I would get another way to get in right. 

When I grew up a little, I read the poem written by Rudyard Kipling and that stuck with me the poem was “If”

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

What really caught my attention and became the very essence of my life is 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

What this taught me is that in Life there is no permanent thing and there is no constants, the only constant being God and if I was doing things in the correct way then there should be no problem with the philosophy of life.

These convictions kept me going and helped me to achieve things in life.